


I'm where you left me

by starbox



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Grief/Mourning, Lonely Keith (Voltron), M/M, POV Keith (Voltron), Pre-Kerberos Mission, sorry James fans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 00:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16230422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbox/pseuds/starbox
Summary: Keith understood what he had done was wrong. But he had struggled in the drill sergeant’s arms anyway, and kicked the air in rage as he was dragged away to wait for an official reprimand. But it never came, and to his horror Shiro was called into the office instead.S7E1 pre-Kerberos flashback insert scene.





	I'm where you left me

It’s an aching in his throat that Keith keeps trying to swallow away, but he can’t force it down. The less he lets the agony show on his face, the more it gnaws at him from the inside. Shiro already knows. He probably saw it all from the observation deck before being told the details. He knows, and everything is over.

Keith had swung his fist without thinking--an animal response to the stab of white-hot anger he had felt. Griffin had _known_ that his parents were no longer in the picture. And he’d thought he could taunt Keith anyway. 

He didn’t care what Griffin said about him. It didn’t affect his scores, and the other cadets’ opinions meant next to nothing to him. But no one was allowed to touch his parents. No one.

_Just shut up, shut up. Leave them be. Let me forget._

Keith understood what he had done was wrong. But he had struggled in the drill sergeant’s arms anyway, and kicked the air in rage as he was dragged away to wait for an official reprimand. But it never came, and to his horror Shiro was called into the office instead.

 

So now he sits here, stewing in Griffin’s futile glare, waiting. He can’t hear anything the adults are saying in the room behind him but he can easily guess. It’s all been said before, murmured in hushed tones between teachers and principals, social workers, and volunteer caretakers as he bounced from home to home, classroom to classroom. Before, he had experienced it as a dull sort of descending disappointment. Another slip down some sort of staircase he was supposed to be dutifully climbing. Each time he messed up, it was only another meaningless little stumble. There were lectures he didn’t listen to and another scrawled note on his case file, but no one really expected any different. His was a life full of kind, stop-gap actions and cheap bandages. This wasn't a tragedy; it was nothing at all.

Failure had never made him feel sick like this before. He realizes on some level he’s terrified. He wishes time would stop so he never has to see how Shiro looks at him now. _Will his eyes be just like those of everyone else?_ _Will it be worse?_

The door hisses open. Keith flinches. Griffin stalks past him into the office and the door closes once more.

_I just want this to be over._

“Hey.”

He can’t meet Shiro’s gaze.

“Look, I know I messed up,” Keith snaps. “You should send me back to the home already. This place isn’t for me.”

The sooner Shiro realizes he’s a lost cause, the sooner he can just get out of here. The sooner he can forget what it felt like to stand firm without slipping. He’s already started the slide off this latest temporary perch, and part of him wants to just let go and tumble all the way down. Like ripping a bandage off, it might be better that way.  

“Keith, you can do this. I will never give up on you.” There’s nothing in Shiro’s voice to indicate he’s at all upset, but Keith still won’t look at him.

“But, more importantly, you can’t give up on yourself.”

_Me? This has never been about me... has it?_

Keith glances up at that. Shiro’s eyes are kind, sympathetic, but that’s the same as always. There’s no pity there. No resignation. Just a tiny bit of sadness that Keith isn't able to parse. When he should be leaving, there he is. Staying. It’s odd. It doesn’t make sense.

“You don’t even know me.” Confusion makes Keith’s voice sharp.

“You’re right. I don’t,” Shiro agrees easily. “But sometimes, we all need a hand.”

He holds out his left hand for Keith to take and waits for him to take it. Waits for him to make the move on his own. When he does, Shiro pulls him up, completely out of his seat.

“The things the other students say… They don’t mean it to hurt as much as it does. They don’t understand what you’ve been through.”

Keith isn’t sure that’s true, but he can tell Shiro believes that so he nods. He thinks they’re probably done here, but Shiro puts a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re free now, right?”

“I mean, I’m probably grounded or something, but yeah…”

“That’s up to me apparently so no, you’re not.”

“What…?”

“Come on, buddy. We’re getting out of here.”

Keith crinkles his eyebrows together, puzzled, but follows Shiro down the hall. The older man pulls out his phone and texts someone, then slips it back in his pocket and turns to Keith.

“My friend Matt will cover my study hall students, but I can’t get another bike on such short notice so we’ll have to ride double.”

Keith hasn’t left the compound in so long he doesn’t care if they jack a rusty pickup truck at this point. “Where are we going?”

“Just the canyon probably.” Shiro grins, and it’s full of boyish mischief. “Those sudden drop-offs are fun.”

Keith smiles back and he’s surprised at how easy it is.

 

They don’t actually sneak into the hangar but they walk along the walls in order to avoid the flight crew members milling about.

“Just in case... I have permission, but I’m not sure they meant me, _plus one_.”

They reach the hover bikes and Shiro pulls the dust cover off. “You want to ride in front or behind?”

“Behind? I don’t wanna get in the way.”

“Okay.”

Shiro straddles the bike and pulls on his gloves and goggles. There’s an extra pair of goggles for Keith and then he pats the spot behind him and Keith scrambles on.

“Hold on tight.”

Keith takes a steadying breath, then wraps his arms around Shiro’s torso. He has to shift his grip lower so he can reach all the way around. The taller man's shoulders block his view but if he scoots really close and pushes himself up with his legs, he can see over them. Shiro feels solid and certain--exactly how Keith imagined he would, when he allowed himself to wonder. The bike engine roars to life; he can feel its warmth on his thighs and the wild hum of it up his spine.

They maintain regulation speed while still on the compound, but the second they reach the desert Shiro hits the throttle and doesn’t let up. Keith tightens his grip and he can feel more than hear Shiro’s responding amusement. They zip through the nearby canyon, scattering waves of dust around them as they lean into one turn and the next. Shiro does like the drops off the low cliffs and Keith’s startled yelps turned exhilarated laughter only seem to egg him on. They’re a miscalculation away from wiping out, a twist of the handlebars away from disaster, but Keith has never felt safer in his life. This has never been what scares him anyway.

 

He doesn't remember his mother at all, so he can't say that he misses her. He just knows, in a vague way, that he wishes she were there to hold his hand sometimes. He remembers his father well though and on the worst days he wishes that he didn't. They say happy memories are there to sustain you, but sometimes all he feels is the empty spaces in between. 

Keith had discovered that he likes to be heading somewhere; he likes to feel like he's making progress even if it's just another 10 miles down a cracked highway. That's why he first started hot-wiring cars. He needed a way to leave things behind, if only for a while. 

 

The wind rushing past them is chilly as they go higher among the cliffs. Keith leans into Shiro, hides his face in the dip between his shoulder blades. He tries not to think about how well he fits there. A few moments later, the other man glances back.

“Doing alright there, buddy?”

“Yeah… it’s just real breezy.”

“We probably should head back, huh?”

 _I never want to go back_ is on the tip of his tongue but he just nods into Shiro’s back.

“If you’re getting sleepy, you should sit in front.”

Keith wants to bristle at this, but the fact is he does feel tired and weirdly fragile. Shiro takes his silent indecision as evidence that he’s fading and slows to a stop.

“Keith…”

Keith lets go and Shiro gets off the bike. He stretches for a few seconds, shakes his arms out--especially his right one--and then returns to the bike. He pushes Keith forward in the saddle and climbs up behind him.

“Wait, seriously…”

“It’s been a long day,” Shiro replies quietly, as if that’s an explanation, and starts off again.

Keith barely feels the wind now. He holds himself rigid for a while, trying not to bump against the arms on either side of him, but he can’t avoid feeling Shiro’s chest against his shoulders. The other man’s face is right above his, a little to the left. His attention is on the path back, checking dials, scanning the area ahead in the fading sunlight. It’s easy to imagine him piloting something much larger and faster. He belongs among the stars.

Keith watches him—wonders at him. _He cares, he cares so much. I don’t know why._ He feels another ache in his throat as he bites down on feelings he doesn’t understand. Closing his eyes, he blocks out everything except this man behind him, the only person in the world who cares whether he’s here at all.

 _Someday I will become enough for him._ Even if that takes more of himself than Keith ever thought he could give. It’s not a solid goal by any means, but it’s a broad, bright target. And it reaches into the years ahead, further and higher than he’s ever dared to imagine before, giving him a reason to keep moving other than running away. 

He falls asleep, face pressed into Shiro’s collar, and for the first time he can remember, he dreams that he can fly. 

**Author's Note:**

> I suppose this is just as much about Keith dealing with the loss of his parents than anything he feels for Shiro. But I think that when Shiro stayed, it cemented their relationship as one that was strong enough to grow into something else in the future.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Find me at @lostshounen on twitter~


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